It’s so thrilling to imagine being a doula for your friend’s pregnancy and birth! For some doulas this is what draws them to the work from the beginning. They want to make sure family members and dear ones have the best experience possible and to help make that happen. But underneath these altruistic desires is the reality of what going to our friend’s births really means. Sometimes it’s a harsh learning.
Ever since I started doulaing, I wondered what was dif…
One of the craziest misconceptions that first time parents have is that laboring in the hospital will be private. Where did they ever get that idea? You’re in a room that isn’t yours, it’s the hospital’s. You’re a guest in their house – a paying one, yes, but it’s still their space. In hospital language, the phrase “private room” means that you aren’t sharing it with another patient, not that you will have privacy in it. A home-like room does not mean the same p…
So your local midwife told a prospective client of yours that she didn’t need a doula. You feel surprised, even betrayed, at her lack of support. What’s going on?
First, the midwife is right. No one is compelled to have a professional doula. Some women have friends or relatives who can serve in that role. Some midwives have an assistant or student who s/he prefers to doula her client. Women and their families have needs in labor that a professional doul…
Talk to the teens in your life today. From what I can see, the decision about where to give birth and how to cope with labor is made long before conception. Unlike previous generations, teens today are exposed to media misrepresentations of labor and birth on multiple television shows (Elson, 2009). Based on a recent literature search (Toohill, 2014), it seems that more young women and men today are afraid of birth than at any previous time. While the issue is mu…
In Jennifer Torres’ article, “Breast milk and labour support: lactation consultants’ and doulas’ strategies for navigating the medical context of maternity care”, the author makes a declarative statement. She says that both professions have filled a niche in maternity care practice that is not covered by nurses or physicians. However, lactation consultants have been able to influence medical practice directly. They entered through the “ front door” and have been w…
“When my 60 year old mother insisted she was middle aged and I wasn’t, I replied, “Mom, how many 120 year old women do you know?” -paraphrased from Postcards From The Edge by Carrie Fisher
I went to my first birth when I was 20 and my first birth as a professional at 24. Most of my clients were older than I was, some by more than a decade. As I aged it seemed that my clientele youthed. At first I was their hip, knowledgeable young friend. Then a sister…