One of my most hated myths about doula care is the idea that any woman can be a doula. Just put a person born with a uterus in a labor room and she’ll be able to help effectively – with no preparation. This is a myth that devalues what doulas do, and gets in the way of us being perceived as professionals. It also devalues the men who offer good doula care. The myth that “any woman can” is even perpetuated by doulas, who may not realize the damage this idea does.…
In my 30 years of doulaing, I have faced the death of a past client a half dozen times. Doulaing is intimate work and caring for mothers and partners creates a unique bond between us. Each of the situations I faced was different but each time I started out feeling sad, uncertain and confused. I took the time to figure out the right course of action, one that I could feel good about long term. My hope is to guide you to the same peace.
This is not a time for…
I hear a lot on Facebook, “If I’d only known that before I took my training…” The market for doula training has changed incredibly, especially in the last 5 years. There are now at least two dozen doula training organizations with programs of varying quality. The onus is now on the prospective doula to figure out which trainer and organization is the best fit for their personal and perinatal career goals. My hope is that doulas will circulate this post to help ou…
You’ve never heard of a pelvic floor physical therapist? You are not alone. Obstetricians and gynecologists are often unaware of the help PFPTs can offer their patients. As a sexuality and birth professional pelvic PT’s are one of the most important referrals I make. Women should not have to suffer sexual, urinary, rectal, or pelvic discomfort or pain! A legacy of shame about our genitals may keep women from discussing postpartum and sexual problems. When she do…
No we don’t. We don’t need doulas that lack integrity, who interfere with a mother getting an epidural or a cesarean, or who say nasty things to their clients about hospitals, doctors, nurses, or midwives. In my experience these doulas may leave damage behind but they don’t usually last very long. We hope.
What we have is a huge variety of doulas. Doulaing is so important and integral to the process of supporting women in their birth experiences that it…
Often becoming a professional doula is an achievable goal. But for others becoming or continuing as a doula with its physical demands is extremely difficult. In my thirty years of doing labor support I have met several doulas who were able to maintain their careers. After thirty years, I have had to make adaptations myself. As my colleague Cory Silverberg once said, “If you live long enough you will end up with a disability.” Here are some helpful steps if you r…