Demands for transparency in science and accountability for potential bias in researchers are relevant to doulas because so much of what we do is research driven. People want to know who is generating knowledge and how their backgrounds inform their findings. Since I’m about to embark on some rather provocative blog posts I wanted to share information that I think is relevant for my readers to know.
I was twenty years old when I unexpectedly went to my first birth and ended up doing all the labor support. I knew very little so I left with lots of questions. My curiosity led me to have a midwife attended birth myself a few years later, and I became a childbirth educator and professional birth assistant at age twenty four. That was over thirty years ago and I’ve never stopped being a doula or involved in birth work. Throughout the years I’ve been a La Leche League Leader, an Informed Homebirth/Informed Birth and Parenting and ALACE Certified Childbirth Educator and Birth Assistant, a DONA approved Birth Doula Trainer, Advanced DONA Birth Doula, and an AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator. I served on the boards of DONA (’95-99), Wisconsin Association for Perinatal Care (’12-present), and have given general session presentations at international conferences including DONA, CAPPA, ProDoula, and Lamaze. My full CV, listing presentations and work published in peer reviewed journals, is here.
That’s what looks good on paper. But what about me personally? I became a doula when my adult identity was cementing. I’ve never not been a doula or surrounded by doulas. For my research studies, including my master’s thesis and doctoral dissertation, I interviewed over sixty doulas and forty parents about their experiences with labor support. My goal is to increase the legitimacy, understanding and professional respect for the doula professions. A secondary goal is to empower laboring people and careproviders to create a respectful, cooperative system of perinatal care that allows for differences in philosophy and practice.
For fourteen years I’ve taught university level courses in the psychology of human relationships, human sexuality, introduction to psychology, and public speaking. I have a graduate certificate in prenatal and perinatal psychology and believe the newborn is conscious human being capable of complete sensation and the creation of memory before birth. I believe in the empowerment of people in labor, no matter what their gender or sex, and the individualization of care towards that person. I believe the medical system is toxic for most nurses, midwives and physicians and that system change is possible when we are all willing to subvert the existing power structure. However I’m not an activist or an agitator. Those roles are necessary and valuable for social change, but it’s not my gift.
Instead, I’ve noticed that lasting change comes when people are open and you can make an individual connection. So I teach. I facilitate. I lead. My workshops are grounded in research – it is what we know and trust as a society – as well as teaching the skills of connection and communication. Those ‘soft’ processes are the ones that bring differences in neonatal and obstetrical outcomes at a birth. After all my years of research and reading, that is my theory. Doulas make a difference because they are able to meet a laboring person’s attachment needs.
Others have described me as a thought leader and visionary in the doula world. I spend a lot of my time thinking, pondering, considering, ruminating, and gestating my ideas. This blog is a culmination of much of that effort. Many of these essays have been worked on for four months or more before they are posted. For those of you who are still reading, I am constantly trying to answer the question, “What are the influences on this situation? Why are things the way they are?” My research interests have landed me a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Wisconsin Madison School of Human Ecology’s Center for Child and Family Well-Being. This enables me to access the university’s resources to continue researching and publishing my studies on labor support and doula care.
People have criticized me for being too detached, not emotionally involved enough, or not having a strong enough opinion. As a trained scientist I really strive to be aware of my own biases and to include them when they are an influence on my conclusions. This detachment may come across as uncaring in my writing. On a personal level, I’d been attending births for a decade before I called myself a “doula”. I didn’t really care for the word – I was a professional birth assistant – but it was the word the market chose for what I did. I rationalized that it took up less space on my business card. Birth trends have changed, what mothers want has changed, who is birthing has changed, men’s roles in society and parenting have changed, and so have public attitudes about childbirth. Having lived and adapted my practices to accommodate all these changes, I just don’t get as emotionally invested anymore. I’m not uncaring, I’m just more protective about what I allow to make me angry or upset. When I wrote the Birthrape blog for example, it wasn’t going to help anyone if I ranted. What doulas really wanted was solutions – a recipe of what to do and some understanding of why medical careproviders ignore the protests and cries of their patients during a painful procedure.
Anyone who knows me knows that I care deeply about doulas, about how people birth and are born on this planet, and creating lasting social change that honors our brains, psyches, and bodies. Otherwise I would not have dedicated my life to it.
Facts About Me That People Find Interesting:
- “Giving Birth The Movie” – (2006, 2000) I executive produced this DVD documentary with director/producer Suzanne Arms – available for viewing on Amazon.com for $2.99!
- I have a research chapter called “Doulas As Facilitators of Transformation and Grief”, (2016), in the first academic book about doulas, Doulas and Intimate Labour: Boundaries, Bodies, and Birth, edited by Angela Castaneda and Julie Johnson Searcy.
- I have a research chapter in Julie Brill’s book called “Attending the Births of Friends”, Round The Circle: Doulas Share Their Experiences, by Julie Brill (2015).
- In 2002/2003 I lost 100 pounds and have kept 90 pounds off for fifteen years.
- I married my fourth husband in 2013 and am the happiest I have ever been.
- I birthed three children out of hospital with midwives, and am stepmother to a fourth.
- I grew up in a family with only women and went to all girl’s school and camp.
- I have no cousins, aunts, uncles, or siblings. My family of origin has all passed away.
- I have done end of life care for several people who I have loved.
- I am committed to being the best multicultural birth doula trainer I can be and actively work at uncovering my own internalized racism from living in a racist society. Towards this end, I have an accountability group and take workshops on a regular basis.
- Like many women, I have survived sexual abuse, sexual assaults, marital rape, interpersonal violence, and stalking. I moved to Wisconsin to get away from the stalker. I believe we have to share this herstory otherwise victims/survivors feel isolated or ashamed. It was not our fault.
- My areas of privilege are socio-economic, education, cisgendered, white, and the ability to pass in most other areas where I do not possess societal privileges.
- Since I was born I’ve never lived without a cat.
- I hiked for eight hours on an erupting volcano. Yes, it was dangerous!
- I grew up on a rural California cattle ranch, a Napa historical home, and in the cities of San Jose and San Francisco. I can ride a horse, ski down a mountain, and swim in the ocean.
- The Wisconsin State Journal published two articles about me and I’ve been featured in a regional women’s magazine (as a doula) and Florida and Wisconsin regional home magazines.
- I’ve rehabilitated or extensively remodeled five homes and planned and pulled off six weddings. I love being inspired by the potential in homes and people to be their best.